My dearest Paul, I have just logged on to write this message and Phil Colins has started singing in my ear with my special song, how beautiful... I text Dad a message the a few days ago about what I would say to you if you where still here, well I will begin now! My biggest regret is not talking to you more often, that I will have to deal with but I so wished I had. A few nights ago I was thinking about it yet again but what consoled me was that I know you knew how much I loved you, that I know for sure Paul, the connection I have had with you calms me that you knew that. As I said to Dad on the text you where not perfect but for me as a brother and friend you where perfect I miss you so very much Paul. Sometimes I feel angry that you dying has been a waste, something that could have been done to make you well, no changing that, to late.. Mum & Dad need me as I need them... always shine down on us dear brother, we feel you always around us xxxxx